One of the most important decisions you’ll make in your life is choosing where you’ll live. Once you’ve confirmed location, the next big choice is whether or not you want roommates. After moving to Merida, Mexico I struggled to find a place to stay. When the opportunity came to live in a house with two other people, I was reluctant because I hadn’t had a roommate since college. However, I knew saving money was important to me during this life reset year, so I decided to give living abroad with roommates a try. I also thought it would be very interesting to see how three very different people live together: me, a late 30’s Black American, my subletter, a mid-70s white Canadian woman, and a mid-50s Mexican man. What could go wrong?

Is It Cheaper To Live Alone Or With A Roommate?

Although rental prices continue to rise in Merida, monthly rent is still significantly lower compared to the United States. However, this depends on where you choose to live. For example, I met a woman who pays $400 USD per month for a 2 bedrooms modern style apartment in northern Merida, which is further away from the city’s center. While not from Merida, she also speaks Spanish so is in a better position to negotiate for lower rent and avoid gringo prices.

I currently live with 2 other people. I pay $200 USD per month, a signifcant change from the $1,800 monthly rent I paid in the United States. My rent in Merida includes:

Private room
Private bathroom
All bills (water, electricity, wifi)

Advantages of Living With A Roommate

I’ve only been in Merida, Mexico for a few weeks, so living with roommates helps me more quickly learn the city. The woman I’m subletting from is from Canada and has lived in Merida over a decade. I told her about my health goals and she told me about Estadio Salvador Alvarado, a workout stadium in walking distance from the house. She also gave me insight about where to get my clothes cleaned, a recommendation for a great physical therapist, and directions to the nearest coffee shop.

When you’re in a new country and don’t know the language, it also helps to have a roommate who does. My other roommate grew up in the United States but his family is from Merida. When there were issues with the electricity or wifi, he was able to quickly call and communicate with customer service.

Disadvantages of Living With A Roommate

Many nights I barely slept because my downstairs roommate loves to play loud music and talk on the phone to his girlfriend with, what I used to call when I was a classroom teacher, his outside voice or his level 10 voice. He never seemed to care that he had roommates. He wasn’t mean just totally oblivious to how his behavior impacted others. This became especially apparent when his girlfriend spent the night. I’m no hater at all, but with all the windows and doors open throughout the house to keep it cool, the last thing I want to hear after a long day is other people’s sexcapades.

In many ways, it feels like I am stuck in my private room and bathroom area because the male roommate downstairs dominates the first floor. If he’s not cooking, his girlfriend or mom are visiting and in the kitchen. And they spend a few times per week in the living room area playing card games. So while this is a 3 bedroom/3 bathroom house with what orginally seemed like lots of amenities, the downstairs roommate has staked a claim to everything so it doesn’t feel like a shared space.

And unfortunately, I am also starting to see a different side of my subletter, one that feels errily similar to what we call a Karen in the United States. She called the cops on the neighbor across the street for his loud music and behavior (contradiction, right!?) which resulted in him getting evicted.

Is the Savings Worth It?

Less than a week after moving in to the house, I found out I was getting laid off. While this news rocked my world, I felt a sense of calmness because I knew I could still afford to live without significant interruption to my daily life. If I was still in my hometown, if I had renewed my lease, and with all the other bills I had at the time, I would have been much more devastated and stressed.

However, life isn’t all about money. And you have to know yourself. For me the low-cost living is not worth my peace. I don’t want to live where I feel I need to tip-toe around the house. I don’t want to have to keep repeating myself about what I need just to be able to sleep peacefully at night.

Is Living With A Roommate A Good Idea?

This is a big decision and ultimately you have to do what’s best for you and your peace of mind. Some people love sharing their personal space with others and it doesn’t bother them at all. I am not that way. I tried to be because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t prematurely saying no to new experiences while I’m living abroad. But there is a difference between limiting yourself and having boundaries. A big difference.

What To Consider If You Choose To Live With Roommates

If you decide to live with roommates, be sure to ask these questions either before you move in or within the first few days of moving in so that everyone has a solid understanding of how to respect each other’s needs and make the place feel like a home for all.

How do you prefer to split household chores and responsibilities? Are you comfortable with sharing cleaning duties, grocery shopping, and bill payments?
What is your daily routine like? Do you work from home or have irregular work hours?
What are your expectations for privacy and personal space in the shared living areas?
Do you have any pets or plan on getting one in the future? Are you comfortable with your roommates having pets?
How do you handle conflicts or disagreements? What does compromise look and sound like to you?
What are your thoughts on guests and overnight visitors? How frequently do you plan to have guests over?
Do you have any dietary restrictions or preferences? How do you plan to share the kitchen and cooking responsibilities?
How do you handle noise levels in the shared living space? Do you have any habits or preferences that could potentially disturb your roommates?
How do you prefer to split rent and utility costs? What is your budget for shared expenses?
Are you comfortable with your roommate smoking or drinking alcohol in the shared living spaces? What are your boundaries regarding substance use?

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