It’s Time To Stop Doubting Yourself
The year is 2008. I’ve got a green, spiraled notebook that I’m using to jot down daily action items. It’s a seemingly regular pad with pages of adulting except for one sheet in the middle with noticeable extra folds in its corner. At the top of this sheet are the words:
I HAVE TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE!
What follows isn’t the typical to do list. Instead, there’s a list of hopes and dreams from a younger version of me who was begging to get out of what felt like a box designed to keep people comfortable and stuck. The list included things like, “live abroad,” and, “learn a new language.” There was also, “write a book,” and, “become a millionaire.” Everything in that green, spiraled notebook was written by me when I was 25 years old.
I don’t remember making that list. And it wasn’t until I returned from living abroad in Mexico that I cleared out my storage unit and stumbled upon it while trying to sift through what should be tossed versus kept. Me as a 40 year old woman looking back at something I said 15 years ago and had no idea would actually happen….but did.
I’ve always been a strong believer in the power of writing down your goals and dreams, but even I was shocked to see my own dreams realized and the proof of them etched in black ink.
It sounds wild, right?!
The notebook!
Here it is friends- the words from 15 years ago. I ended up in Mexico instead of Spain. But I did visit Spain twice, I think that counts lol!
Not only is it true, it also now makes you wonder: Why did it take so long?
It’s a great question. And I will answer it for you, but first I’ve got something to ask you:
What is one thing you’ve been saying you’re going to do, that you really want to accomplish in this lifetime, but you’ve put little to no action towards doing it yet?
This is a judgement-free zone because I’ve been there, too. We all have things we say we’re going to do and then don’t actually do them. Let’s talk about why.
Your Thoughts Control Your Behavior
One of my favorite aunties, Michelle Obama, once said, “It is an every day practice to silence the no in your head.” Michelle Obama's quote is not just inspirational; it's a call to action. As an educator, you’re conditioned to seek security and predictability. But what if you rewire your mindset to embrace uncertainty as an opportunity for growth?
The reason you don’t put action behind your words is the same reason I didn’t all those years ago: you don’t believe what you hope and dream can actually happen. I know, it’s a gut punch for me to be so brutally honest. But I’m not here to sugar coat the truth. It’s only when you confront what you really think and feel that you’re able to start to make small shifts that lead to big results towards the life you’ve always wanted to enjoy.
Your first step is to identify specific fears holding you back. Call them out and write them down. Then challenge each 'no' with a 'why not?' and gradually replace these negatives with affirmations of your potential and capabilities.
Self-Sabotage Is Keeping You Stuck
When you allow your thoughts to dominate instead of questioning where they come from, it can cause you to pause on pursuing your own dreams. It’s hard to admit that maybe something you’re doing or thinking is the reason you feel stuck. That’s why people often mask self-sabotage as realism. Saying things like, “I’m just being realistic about what can actually happen,” is one way to lessen the blow if you try something and don’t get it right the first time. Instead of shying away from mistakes, start to recognize the beauty of errors. They allow you to learn something new and get you closer to your goal, so in the end no experience is wasted and failure becomes your necessary pathway towards success.
You Help Everyone Else Get Their Needs Met, But What About Yours?
Being an educator is a role that requires high emotional intelligence and deep care for other people. And because you care for students, families, your colleagues, and your community, it’s easy to get sucked into focusing on helping everybody around you at the expense of your needs never being fulfilled.
When I think back on my 15 years working in the education system, it’s easy to see how days, weeks, and years just flew by without me realizing how much time I was spending in the school building. So when I write down a goal in 2008 but it doesn’t happen until 2023, it’s not because the goal changed. It’s because of my lack of awareness in my own power to bring the goal to life. That coupled with an oversaturated focus on pleasing everybody else. Whether it was spending extra hours at work in the evenings or on the weekend or the inability to shut my mind off from work when I was at home, other people were always being prioritized.
So if you wonder why it took so long, that is the recipe for prolonging dreams.
The Good News About A Dream Deferred
Yes, there are real reasons you need to continue to explore for why your passion project, book, or business venture is still on the back burner. But the good news is a dream deferred is not a dream denied. If you put something out into the world- an idea or a vision - it’s for a reason. And sometimes you have to have a few lived experiences to help you realize what’s important to you and where you want to direct your time and energy.
Now that you’re aware of the power of your thoughts, and the blessings and benefits of mistakes, you can start to move and spend your time differently.
Fear is a natural response to change, but it shouldn't dictate your life's path. Transform fear into a catalyst for action. Begin by identifying one small step you can take this week. Each small step is a victory over fear, a step closer to you living your dream life.
It’s ok to start small; what matters is that you start.
Are you looking for support to start your transition from your current role in education to building your online business? Click here to schedule your free discovery call to learn about my exclusive online program, Breaking Free: From Educator To Entrepreneur.