Diary Entry Date: May 1, 2023 (morning)

I would be lying if I said I knew exactly what would happen after my adult gap year is over. I’ve made it to the halfway point and while I have a lot of thoughts on what I want to do, I really want to stay present and enjoy the rest of this year as much as possible without spending unnecessary energy figuring out the future.

sabbatical year, adult gap year, faith over fear, finding my purpose, believe beyond you, merida museum mexico — I enjoy spending time at museums. It gives me space to learn something new. You can visit this one in Merida, Mexico.

And that’s not easy to do. Especially for someone like me who plans (or at least tries to plan) things way in advance. My learning journey includes figuring out how to slow down. And not just while I am living abroad and not working a traditional 9 to 5. How do I make slowing down part of my new way of being? Because that’s what I really want.

Slowing down doesn’t mean being lazy. They have absolutely nothing to do with each other. I think the grind and capitalistic culture of our society always makes it seem like if you’re not busy doing something then you’re a waste of space. But I don’t believe that. For me, slowing down means I am more intentional with how I spend my time. I am more intentional with who I spend my time with and where I go. And even when it comes to how I reach financial stability, I don’t want to limit myself to traditional roles anymore.

Before I moved abroad, I was talking to my therapist about a pattern I noticed over the last almost six years. I told them I felt like God was trying to show me something, to show me a different way of living but I just keep going back to what’s comfortable.

And it wasn’t until last year I was able to attach values to those thoughts. I highly value flexibility and stability and having space where I can be creative. If how I spend my time doesn’t align with my values, it starts to eat away at me.

I feel like for the last few years I’ve been struggling with choosing between my desires for flexibility and creativity on one side and need for stability on the other. But do I have to choose a side? Is there a way to live my life where I can be financially stable, enjoy how I spend my time, and create things that help other people? What would that look like for me?

I know I want to write. I know I want to help people. But I don’t know how it will happen so I can replace my previous income. That’s why for me this is a season of trusting God to show up and show out. All I can do is focus on today and what’s right in front of me.

You can take your own adult gap year. Click here to download this resource that helps you plan out your sabbatical. Whether you choose to take a full year or a little less time, this resource will guide your planning.