This was not part of my plan. I wanted to reset my life financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically…I wanted to pay off all my debts and get to a place where my income is finally my own without living that cycle of getting excited on payday then getting frustrated at how much money goes right back out. Moving to Mexico was supposed to give me the space to come up for air and create a new strategy for my relationship with money. To my credit, my plan was quite brilliant. I’d uproot my life for a new adventure in another country, significantly reduce my cost of living, enjoy learning a new language and meeting new people, and one day return home feeling like I’d lived my life in all the ways that felt good to me.

This was not part of my plan.

I had no idea within a few weeks of moving to Mexico I’d get news that would change everything. That I’d find out I was getting laid off.

What. The. Ugh!!!

Emotional Stages Of Being Laid Off

The emotions I felt after getting this news were similar to the emotional stages of grief, a theory originated by Elizabeth Kübler Ross, who said people tend to go through 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Denial: I kept telling myself there must be another way to avoid being laid off. I’m spectacular at what I do and there’s nothing wrong with me, so there must be a mistake. I work hard every day. I give 110% to every job I’ve ever had (and I’ve had a lot of jobs because I’m 39 and I’ve been working since I was 15 years old). I told myself everything would work out because they’d find a solution that didn’t involve me not having a job.
Anger: For me the anger was less about losing my job and more about how the impact of losing a job shows up differently in people. Everyone goes into their form of protection mode which feels healthy for them but horrible for those of us experiencing their walls of defense.
Bargaining: I wondered a lot about how I could have avoided this situation. What if I had never left K-12 systems? What if I had stuck to my original plan of moving up in education and had become a principal? What if I had never had a desire to start my own business then I never would have been searching for a work from home job? If only I didn’t try to live some fantasy dream life then none of this would have happened. These were my all-consuming thoughts.
Depression: Honestly, I’m still learning what depression looks like for me because as a Black woman, I’ve often felt this level of grief was freely allowed by others but not for me. As a Black woman, I’ve always been taught to be resilient, to keep pushing through, to keep working hard, and that there’s no time to cry because you have to give double or even triple more than everybody else around you. If this article’s example is any indicator of what depression sounds like, then yes I certainly felt unsure of how to move forward. I felt the plan I had for my life just crashed and burned right before my eyes.
Acceptance: Deep down I truly believed I was meant to come to Mexico for a year. I felt that to my core. My eventual calmness and acceptance of being laid off came through my belief that there’s no way God would guide me all the way to another country only to be left destitute. But I’m not going to lie. My conversations with God weren’t pretty. Most of my prayers started with, “Ok, God, so now what am I supposed to do?”

Listen To Your Body

After it settled in my soul that I was actually getting laid off, I didn’t run to start looking for another job. Instead, I took a nap. A very long nap. There was so much to think about, so many problems to navigate, but in that moment my body was exhausted. My soul ached. I was mentally and emotionally drained. I needed rest. So many times in my life I don’t listen to my body, but this time I did. I prioritized myself and in the moment gave my body what it needed: rest.

Your Job Is Not Your Purpose

I do not believe I was put on earth to work 8-12 hours a day for 40-50 years and then die. I say it to my family all the time. We’ll be talking about life and bills and dreams and I’ll say, “Look, I ain’t meant to just work and die.” I believe our life purpose can be fulfilled at work, but I don’t think our life purpose is to work. For example, if part of my life purpose is to help people, then I am fulfilling that through my role as an educator. But if I lose my job as an educator, there are hundreds of thousands of other ways I can help people.

That’s where I am in my life right now. I just found out I was getting laid off. I’ve always helped people through the field of education whether that was working directly with students or coaching school and district leaders. But I’ve also always loved and wanted to write. I also enjoy reading and sharing and applying what I learn in books. I also love traveling. I also love helping communities. And so much more. I wasn’t made to fit into this one cookie-cutter mold. My life purpose goes far beyond whatever job titles I’ve carried in the past or will carry in the future.

In this season I’m trusting God to do something miraculous. I don’t know what that is yet, but I’ll keep writing and keep you posted.

Being laid off actually ended up being the best thing to ever happen to me. My life is thriving in ways I used to only imagine about. Taking an adult gap year was a huge part of that. Did you know you can take a sabbatical to? Click here to download this resource that helps you plan out your sabbatical. Whether you choose to take a full year or a little less time, this resource will guide your planning.